I discovered how many good friends I have since I was laid off

Okay, since I got my final paycheck today, I'm not sure I'm officially laid off until Monday.   But I did get the boot on Tuesday after 10 years with this division of the company.

And I have discovered that I have many more compassionate, helpful friends than I realized.

I've heard from two friends I'd lost touch with who offered concrete help in my job search.  I've gotten suggestions for companies to look into from several people.  One friend even sent me a list of ten companies that hire software developers in the Valley.

People have sent their best wishes via e-mail, text, Facebook, and phone.  People have called to make sure I'm not wallowing in depression or curled in a ball in a corner of my house.

I'm not, by the way.  Yes, it bothers me.  Yes, I am worried.  But I'm a realist.  And I have the funds to survive a while without work.

I have time to gather my wits.  I have time to look for a job I will like.  I can spend more time at the gym.  I can get chores done around the house.  I now have lots of time to spend with my dogs.

And I have learned I am truly blessed with good, loyal, helpful friends.

Layoff - Not as calm as I thought

So yesterday was a bit unexpected.  I thought my company was down to the bone on employees.  And I was arrogant enough to think that my skill set was necessary to the company.

Well, maybe it is.  But the people who made the decisions didn't think so.

There were several layoffs in the morning.  When nothing more seemed to be happening, a coworker and I went to lunch.

I knew I was in trouble when the facilities person was waiting for us when we got off the elevator.  For me, because my friend had already been told she was safe.

I think they expected histrionics, but I was calm all through the meeting.  I was calm telling my sister and mother.  I was calm.  Until night fall.

There is something about night time that brings out our worst fears.  Fears of never finding another job that pays enough to keep my house.  Fear of being unable to take care of my dogs.  Sleep eluded me for a long time.  Despite that I woke up at the regular time this morning.

I took each of the dogs out for longer than usual walks.  That helped burn off some of my nervous energy.  But now that is done and we've all eaten breakfast.

And I don't quite know what to do with myself today. Or for the next couple weeks.

I have some decent severance.  My dilemma is, do I take a little time to decompress?  Or do I start looking for a new job right away?

Can I even enjoy being off, knowing that I am unemployed?

Sigh.