Friday, January 8, 2016

It's okay to be alone.

I am disturbed by the public insistence that celebrities, or people in general, need to hurry up and find another romantic partner after a breakup.

What about taking time to recover, time to figure out who you are on your own?

If you don't like your own company, how can you find someone worthy who will?  A desperation to be paired up can lead to rash, disastrous choices.

I've been married and divorced 3 times, and, for me, being single trumps being married.

I had a tendency to subvert myself to my husband's interests.  So it wasn't until I had been single a while that I started to develop my own likes and habits.

I rediscovered my childhood love of Legos.  I realized I like really cheesy Sci-fi movies.

I found out I like Van Gogh and metal art.  I can eat whatever I want whenever I want.

As long as I fix it. Or go out for it.

That's the downside.  There is no one else in the household to feed the dogs if you are feeling sick.  No one else to suggest something tasty for dinner, or an activity for the weekend.

But also no one to take care of when they get sick.  No one to wonder why you decided to work late to finish up your project.  No one to object if you want to take a one-hour morning walk. Or eat the same meal for dinner 3 nights in a row. No one to care if you are wearing the same t-shirt you wore yesterday.

And yes, it smells a bit.

I also discovered skills I didn't realize I had. It's easy to let the other person deal with problems instead of developing your own skills.

Like figuring out how to move landscape blocks when I could barely lift them.  Realizing that replacing baseboards isn't rocket science.   Figuring out how to snake a sink drain because I'm too cheap to call a plumber. Finding reputable handymen to call when the job is too big for me.

Being single is about discovery, about enjoying your own company.

It's okay to be alone.


  1. I agree. Weare treated as if there is something wrong with us if we are not partnered up. As though we could not possibly be happy that way.

    It IS okay to be alone.

    1. Thank you. I'm glad I'm not the only one that believes it.