Thursday, August 13, 2015

My horror movie idea

I am a big fan of schlocky horror movies.  I was in heaven last month during Sharknado week on SyFy. Robocroc, Sharktopus vs Whalewolf, Sharknado 3, and Lavalantuala thrilled me with the cheesy heroics and special effects.

I had just seen Piranha DD the night before.  As I walked the dogs. I pondered what the land based equivalent of tiny, little piranha would be.


There needs to be a movie called Attack of the Chihuahuas.  Tiny.  Innocuous.  Deadly.  They swarm.  You die.

I mentioned it at work and we spent two days brainstorming the cast and scenes.

Obviously, the carnage can't be too vicious.  Oh, what the Chihuahuas do can be brutal, but the heroes will have to be more circumspect in their own defense.  Cartoon violence only.  After all, they are sweet little Chihuahuas.

Still, they have to die.  So my friend George came up with the tag line - "Yes, a lot of yappy little dogs die in this movie."

The movie must open with a scene of a little Chihuahua in a pink dress walking down the sidewalk, dragging a tattered pooch purse, with a dismembered, manicured hand clutching the handle.

I think Betty White needs to reprise her role in Lake Placid.  As the soft-hearted owner of a registered Chihuahua rescue, she ends up with so many Chihuahuas to feed that she resorts to murdering homeless people to supplement the kibble.

Betty gets hospitalized and a Good Samaritan goes to assist at the rescue.  The horde of Chihuahuas are hungry.  There is no dog food on the site.  The Chihuahuas swarm the Samaritan and start nibbling.

As she tries, and fails, to escape, she leaves the gate open.  The swarm overtakes Los Angeles.

I would watch it.

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